Blog 100 Monday 26th March 2012

Never thought I would have enough to say for 100 blogs!! I've surpassed our Australian Trip with the amount of blogs and visitors. I was thinking that I would have to change the name of this blog from "Living with Bowel Cancer by....... " to "Surviving Bowel Cancer by......" but I have been informed that, officially, you are not a cancer "Survivor" until you are clear and non-recurrences of the disease for 5 years ................. in my last blog I stated that I will always be looking over my shoulder. I'm sure I was thinking along those lines.  I had a discussion some while ago with my hospital ward colleague Michael. Michael was saying that he looks to 3 years then 5 years as a survivor. I'm thinking even 3 years is a long time to think about whether I'm still clear or not, so even if it's in the back of my mind, I shall not attach any length of time. I shall be grateful of all the additional time I have, to see my sons and daughter grow.

Beautiful warm and sunny weather in UK presently, like last year March / April  then we had a rubbish summer. Matthew and girlfriend Timone have landed in Sydney Australia today for a few weeks holiday. Spoke on Free Skype, its a wonderful tool.....  

Blog 99 Friday 23rd March 2012

Contemplating my fathers funeral two days ago, one thing will always stay with me in my thoughts of that day. My fathers coffin was draped in the "Union Flag", I'm not sure why I was surprised, as he fought his way through the 2nd world war in the desert rats. It made me very proud that this was almost a final thank you to him for what he had endured all those years ago. My Dad sometimes enjoyed a Whiskey (or two) and I made sure I had a Whiskey (or two) after his funeral, in the memory of a very great man. Paul McCartney and Wings song "Picasso's last words" came to mind.

The grand old painter died last night
His painting' s on the wall
Before he went, he bade us well
And said goodnight to us all
Drink to me, drink to my health
You know I can't drink any more
Drink to me, drink to my health
You know I can't drink any more

........................................................and finally ...............on our return home; a letter from Mr Ratliff's secretary from  the Three Shires hospital in Northampton was waiting for me. It was concerning my Porta Cath. My Porta Cath will be removed on the 11th April, day surgery and home the same day ..........Yeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh  !!!!!!!

Blog 98 Friday 16th March 2012

With the passing of Janice in January, my first wife and mother of my three sons,  and the passing of my father this month, the year 2012 so far, has not been good. My news of being given the "All Clear" has been a bit of an anti climax. I am relieved and pleased obviously, but no celebrations. Its Mothers day on Sunday 18th March (In UK) but what must my sons be going through and feeling when they see all the Mothers Day gifts and cards in the shops, and what do I give my mother?, just a few days before my fathers funeral on the 21st March .......... Wendy and I have sent flowers to my mother for Mothers Day as a gesture and we will be thinking of her, but I'm sure she will not be celebrating or thinking of herself.

It is the family wish, that any donations, in place of flowers go to  St Dunstans . Dad was registered blind for a number of years and St Dunstans, which is a charity for visually impaired veterans, helped and supported in many ways.

Tomorrow at 10am,  I visit my Oncologist at the Three Shires in Northampton, hopefully for the last time.. Dr Craig MacMillan has been very good over the course of the last six months chemotherapy.  Arrangements will be made by Dr MacMillan to remove my Porta Cath which will signal the final demise of the Cancer that has invaded me, and finally I can say "I have kicked cancer's butt"......................but I'm sure I will always be looking over my shoulder.        

Blog 97 Tuesday 13th March 2012

I believe this has got to be the ultimate, "I've got good news and bad news" story. I always ask for the "bad news" first when it is presented in this way. The bad news, as Wendy wrote my father passed last Saturday,  I had seen him over the last couple of weeks and had sat by him for a while in his last hours his funeral is Wednesday 21st March.

The "good news" is that my appointment with Mr Waller was all positive and I have been given the all clear from the recent CT scan. My son Jonathan, turned up out of the blue yesterday, and it was nice that he came to the hospital with Wendy and I.

It feels like a weight has been lifted and am able to get on with my life without that dreaded "What If" feeling. Thanks for all the well wishes received and support over the last few months. I would like to continue with the blog and record any cancer related stories and information. I would love to hear from my followers of the blog in the 29 different countries or if you have a related story to tell.     

Blog 96 Saturday 10 March 2012

Wendy's Blog

Sad news, John's dad, my father in law, passed away this morning. Although this was not unexpected it still comes as a shock when you hear the news. Thankfully John went down yesterday so was able to give his support to his mum, sisters and brother. It is never easy saying goodbye to a loved one, but when you see them in pain and suffering it makes it easier to know that they are no longer suffering.

At 93 Vic had been blessed with a wonderful wife who he was married to for 63 years, 5 children, 11 grandchildren and 5 great grand children. He had a wonderful sense of humour and loved to share a whiskey with John. He loved nothing more than having a house full of people and so for many years all family parties where held there. It won't be the same now.

Music by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Music, when soft voices die,
Vibrates in the memory---
Odours, when sweet violets sicken,
Live within the sense they quicken,
Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,
Are heaped for the beloved's bed;
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,
Love itself shall slumber on.

We have wonderful memories of a wonderful man. Rest in Peace Dad and Grandad xxxx


Hope's Blog

I'm really sad for my grandad and just to let you know i'm 9years old. I was really upset this morning and I couldn't stop crying. My Grandad was a Husband, Dad, Brother,Great Grandad and Grandad and who ever we were we all loved him for who he was. He's really lucky because he died aged 93 so thats really good but he was in a lot of pain and I'm sure he feels really good now and that he can see and hear properly. I just want to say SORRY!!! Granny and Daddy xx

Blog 95 Thursday 8th March 2012

Only a few days left to the 13th and the results of my scan. Am I superstitious? No,........... I was born on the 13th, and the 13th has been very kind to me over the years! so, "no worries" there. I am however not good at waiting.......................... I shall be spending some time this weekend with my father, as previously mentioned, he is no longer mobile, he sleeps most of the time is not eating much, and only takes small amounts of fluid. He has a mass growing in his stomach, which is believed to be a tumour but will not be attended to due to dads age. From my point of view I would like to know what it is, as every doctor or surgeon that I speak to, asks if there is any cancer in the immediate family,............. I've always replied to  the negative.

Eat well, avoid processed foods, don't stress and be positive.!!

Blog 94 Tuesday 6th March 2012

Yesterday, I attended at The Leicester Spire Hospital for my CT Scan. The CT scan was ordered by my Thoracic Surgeon to confirm, or otherwise that the Chemotherapy has worked! As usual, the back to front gown didn't fit, and a white dressing gown, given to hide my embarrassment, was also a few sizes to small. The staff were not equipped to use  my Porta Cath for the injection of Iodine contrast, so a canulla was fitted in my right arm "Just a small scratch"...............Why do they say that? its not, and it hurts like hell !!! When fitted up with the injection via canulla the machine takes over and injects automatically at the precise time. My thoughts turn to the lethal injection on death row as seen in many US movies, the mechanism must be the same. Why did I think about that ?? It was all over very quickly. Now, a six day wait for the scan results. Today I went for my reflexology by Integrated Cancer Therapies as previously blogged, a charity that caters for cancer patients in  Northamptonshire. Wow what a relaxation!!. and has gone a long way to bringing back the feeling I had lost in the soles of my feet through the side effects of the Chemotherapy.

Blog 93 Friday 2nd March 2012

Only a few days to go before my CT Scan. My Oncologist, Mr MacMillan, is superstitious about removal of my Porta Cath until after the results. I can't wait to have it removed as its starting to bother me. It tends to pull on the vein its connected to in my neck. Its all very hygienic and hidden under the skin, but it does feel a bit like an alien sitting there as its quite a lump!

The Porta Cath

Yesterday, I completed the first training with Bowel Cancer UK's  Claire and Eimear The training session was in Southwark, London SE1. Next session on 21st March.

 I have been amazed at the amount of people I have reached via this blog in 28 different countries! so volunteering for Bowel Cancer UK I will be able to spread the word even further. "Get yourself checked" " If you receive a Bowel Cancer screening test kit USE IT!! do not be one of the 48% that do not send it back !!! see cancer screening nhs remember Early diagnosis is the key!!!!!